What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
