can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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