Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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