Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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