she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
