she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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