I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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