my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
