3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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