i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
