Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
