Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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