So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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