Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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