that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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