i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize