my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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