He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
