Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
