I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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