i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
