Can i not drive my cunt home
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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