In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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