that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
