mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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