Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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