so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize