Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
