They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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