My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize