i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
