I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
