Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
