i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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