He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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