she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My pussy is not your playground.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
