now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
