I'm lost and stupid without you.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
