He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize