I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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