So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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