It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
