I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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