WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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