Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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