tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
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