we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
