Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
