I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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