Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think people are normalizing furries
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
