I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
