Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
