Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
