5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
