Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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