Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
