Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
please don't ironically join a cult
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