i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
