I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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