im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
