We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my poor anus
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i now understand why vodka
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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