Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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