Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
