Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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