I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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