There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
