Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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