Porn is love you can see.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
