That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
