I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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