Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
