i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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