Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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