The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
